I was shocked and appalled when I read Francine Kopun's column "Toronto family plays tourists in their own city." After all, it contained actual, unveiled references to bare buttocks and oral sex! Honestly, it ruined the entire paper for me today. Such columns should obviously have flourescent warnings ("WARNING! SMUT!") printed above them to shield the eyes of the innocent such as myself. After all, a newspaper should always cater to the most prudish, intolerant, and sheltered reader (such as myself), regardless of the subject matter or the intended audience.
Though I sympathise with the author's predicament at the Art Gallery of Ontario and at an (adult-only, nocturnal, big-city) comedy club, I say shame on her for dirtying my poor, chaste mind with such thoughts and images. But really, what did she expect to encounter in an evil, libidinous metropolis like Toronto, much less in such dens of iniquity as an art gallery (shameless libertines!) and a comedy club (humour is the devil's work)? Frankly, she was fortunate to escape with her honour and her life. However, she must be condemned for dragging the rest of us down with her. Shame!
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