Accountability moment: not one more gay cent until we see some results

When politicians make promises, they should be held to them. Especially when they promise hope, a new kind of politics, that they want to take contributions from actual people and be accountable to them. Well, we heard lots of promises, but we've not seen any action. Until we start seeing the change we paid for, President Obama and the Democratic party can forget about getting any more of my money:

I pledge not to donate to the Democratic National Committee, Organizing for America, or the Obama campaign until Congress passes, and the president signs, legislation enacting the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT), and repealing the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

And yes, I'm serious about this. You'd better believe corporate donors are getting their money's worth right now, as they belly up to the trough for "healthcare reform". If they don't get what they paid for, they're not going to give again – and guess what, neither am I.

Both DOMA and DADT were passed during the previous Democratic administration. The just-finished Bush administration produced plenty of sturm und drang about teh gays, but never actually did legislative harm to us. The Obama administration had better start righting some wrongs, and President Obama had better start doing something to fulfill his pledge to be a "fierce advocate" for our community. With sixty filibuster-breaking votes in the senate and a strong majority in the house, the Democratic party has an opportunity to actually pass the agenda they trumpet when they come around begging for cash. With the midterm elections coming the time to act is now; otherwise it becomes increasingly obvious that the Democratic party is determined to block action on these issues in order to keep the gay money coming.

Either put up or find another sucker. If you feel the same way, join me in the pledge.

Asking more from family and friends on queer rights

Following the election last Tuesday, I am very happy and hopeful about the future. Even though Proposition 8 passed in California, President Barack Obama will appoint liberal Supreme Court justices who will eventually give me full equality in the United States, maybe even in my lifetime. I have hope.

But in the meantime, it's going to be rough. Each step forward will be met with stiff opposition. Queers have long been convenient targets for political hate campaigns. This will get worse before it gets better. It already is.

Recently I've discovered that several long-time friends don't agree I should have equal rights, including the right to be married. Some of them have participated in campaigns specifically intended to take away my civil rights. By definition, these people are not my friends, and I will no longer encourage such behaviour with my continued association. These people will no longer be able to truthfully say "I have gay friends, but..." – not if they're referring to me.

I am also raising my expectations of my friends and family. In the past I simply asked friends and family to accept me and not say bad things in my presence. I didn't feel I had the right to ask them to volunteer for a cause, contribute money, or vote a certain way. Although I knew in some cases that they were opposed to my rights, I ignored it. I had very low self-esteem, and I just felt happy that people actually liked me: Internalized homophobia is powerful and insidious. Those days are past.

Now I will call on my friends and family to help advance my civil rights whenever I see fit. Since my friends and family love me as I love them, I expect they will be willing to help me. If friends and family are engaged in or supporting organizations that hold anti-gay agendas, it is my expectation that they work to improve those organizations from within. To be clear, I'm not unreasonable: I don't actually expect my friends and family to live up to my every expectation any more than I live up to theirs.

Queer issues will never be as important to most of my friends and family as they are to me. But now I'm not going to hesitate to ask for help, and if that turns out to be a problem, it will be short-lived. It will be fantastic if they choose to help, and it will be okay if they don't, but no friend will be allowed to work against my civil rights and remain my friend. This is called self-respect, and it starts now.

Lesbian rules & regulations

• Lesbians like kickboxing. There is a strong correlation between lesbianism and Tae Bo.


• Femme lesbians in Vancouver can't talk about anything but shoes.


• Lesbians like Lebanese food. Maybe it's because it sounds like "lesbian" and maybe it's because they like to eat with their fingers.


• When a lesbian student raises her hand in class, she will extend two fingers together.


• Dill is a lesbian spice.


• All indie rockers are lesbians.

Please add any other rules on lesbianism in the comments. Please keep in mind that this is no laughing matter.

The Happiest Gay Couple in the World

Years ago, there was a series of animated shorts about Rick & Steve, the Happiest Gay Couple in the World. They were great... little filthy-mouthed Lego people filmed in stop-motion, having drama and laser vaginal rejuvenation. The writing was awesome, with dialogue cut from every queen's daily life, and dead on in its send-up of the hostility implicit in our everyday human relationships.

They've just been re-done as a season of half-hour episodes by their creator, Q. Allan Brocka by MTV for its Logo network. My friend Meiro Stamm composed and performed the music, and showed me some of the episodes – wonderful! Although the figures still resemble the Lego characters of our youth, they don't look exactly like them (thus avoiding attention from the litigious Danes at Lego) – but the series retains all of the sass and irreverence of the original shorts. MTV censors apparently couldn't wring the humour out of Mr. Brocka.

They are showing some clips on happiestgaycouple.com (if you live outside the US, you'll have to download the video instead of watching it online <eye-roll>). It shows on Logo on Tuesdays at 10pm. Apparently no distribution deal in Canada yet, but I've already ordered the DVD.

Families don't include men

Yorkdale Mall in suburban Toronto has redefined the family to exclude men. I fully support this... who knew the Canadian 'burbs were such a hotbed of lesbianism?