Thanks to everyone who worked to end DADT

I'd like to thank my friends and family for their efforts in ending the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law. It means a lot for me, as I had honestly given up hope of it happening any time soon.

It's too easy to be cynical, but as I watched the past two years go by, and watched the hugest congressional majority in recent memory evaporate, I thought for sure there would be no progress on queer issues. And although I told myself I was content with Obama just naming Supreme Court justices, I was enraged by the contradiction of his "fierce advocate" image shown by his administration's aggressive defense of DOMA, his utter inaction on ENDA and DOMA, and the snail's pace of DADT repeal (coupled with continued vigorous legal defense of the law). I had come to the conclusion that the Democrats had decided that gay votes, gay money, and gay wedge issues were simply too valuable to them to give up, and that they would hold us hostage for another six years or until the courts finally grew a pair. I just couldn't take the disappointment anymore, so I really stopped investing any hope.

Sure, I went through the motions with emails to elected officials (pointless, since I vote in Georgia), but I really couldn't bring myself to care a great deal. I was resigned to it. But this is where my family and friends really stepped in and pushed this through. I'm very thankful and grateful for friends and family who care enough about me to take on issues that affect me - without my having to ask. It really means a lot.

It was a little over two years ago when a former friend's opposition to same-sex marriage made me snap and made me raise my expectations of what friends and family will do to help with the issues of queer people. I'm thrilled to say that not only did they take action, they did it without my asking.

Granted, these issues affect us all — when some of us aren't free, all of us aren't free — but when the folks on the comfortable side of the privilege line do more than I do on issues that affect me, it really is touching. Thank you.

Enjoli, for the woman that does it all

Back in the heady days of the late 1970s, feminism morphed from a fringe movement to a popular crusade. Helen Reddy sang I Am Woman and women sang along. Support for the Equal Rights Amendment reached its high water mark, and Gloria Steinem was a rock star. Women were earning $.69 for each dollar earned by their male counterparts, and were demanding compensation for household work.

In that heady climate of 1978, marketers decided to tap into the image of the all-capable woman:

♪ I can put the wash on the line, feed the kids, get dressed, pass out the kisses and get to work by five to nine, 'cuz I'm a woman – Enjoli ♫

Charles of the Ritz creates Enjoli, the new 8-hour perfume for the 24 hour woman.

♪ I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never never let you forget you're a man. 'cuz I'm a woman. Enjoli! ♫

The feminist revolution was repackaged as slavery: women are strong, subservient, hard-working sex kittens that smell great – for eight hours! Long-lasting perfume really is such an important issue: women work 20% more than men, and if they want to hold on to a man so they can raise the children, make the money, and serve him sexually, they have to smell the part: 24 hours a day.

Bechdel's law: women as props in film

Charlie Stross wrote today about what he calls "Bechdel's Law" on movies:

1. Does it have at least two women in it,
2. Who [at some point] talk to each other,
3. About something besides a man.

I immediately thought about Iron Man, which we saw last night and greatly enjoyed – and of course it fails the test. So does basically every single film made in Hollywood: the only exceptions that come to mind are Sex and the City (which I haven't seen yet, but I presume they talk about anal beads or something other than Mr. Big at least sometimes), The Hours, Mamma Mia!, and maybe Notes on a Scandal... and I'm done – as far as I know, that's it.

Alison Bechdel's blog features the 1985 cartoon where The Rule entered the mass consciousness, and explains the origin. I've been a big fan of Dykes To Watch Out For since I was just a wee budding queer, reading Southern Voice (the "Lesbian Home Journal" on actual newsprint) and scratching my head over Mo (who irritated me greatly). Bechdel has always stayed on my mind over the years, her characters sticking to me even more than Ethan Green (which became a movie?!?) and Hothead Paisan. Bechdel's Fun Home was also a fantastic read.

But back to the subject at hand. Stross continues:

From now on I intend to start applying this test to my fiction before I embarrass myself in public. And (I realize this is offering up a huge hostage to future fortune) if anyone ever offers me a movie or TV deal, I am going to hold out for a clause in the contract requiring a scene lasting at least 30 seconds per hour of running time that passes Bechdel's test. Because? What hurts my fellow humans hurts me, and I can in conscience no more lend my implicit support to an anti-feminist backlash than I can lend my silence to a racist or homophobic campaign.

What a guy. Not only do I greatly enjoy his books, I think he's a swell person, and I think his response to Bechdel's Law is a very good idea. Maybe this could spread to other authors? Hel-lo, writing workshops everywhere?